Friday, July 14, 2017

Dear you,

Dear my future husband,
or currently my husband.

It's been quit long since my last posting. I've been very busy working as a houseman. But I'm thinking of writing this post to express my love as your future wife only after I am truly becoming your wife. At first I'm not very sure whether I am really getting married. It happened so fast with a mixed feeling in the beginning. Sometimes I'm not very sure it is true or not. But Alhamdulillah Allah makes my dream come true. My dream is to be proposed by someone in a halal way by meeting my parents, not by sweet words where those words can't last forever. And you did. Though we've become colleague in HTAA during our posting as houseman, you still have guts to ask me indirectly and you brought your parents to meet my parents. That was my dream.You have a sincere heart and I made my istikharah. Alhamdulillah my heart is more towards you. And I have one principle which I hold tightly until today that if our way seems to be smooth and steady, this is the right one for me. That is what I'm very sure about. In preparation of becoming a wife, I am still learning. You know right? I hope you can tolerate with my nagging and moody swing later plus my childish behaviour, sometimes I guess. For a woman to become emotional is common and I hope you will understand me. I guess I am simple but quite complex sometimes. Things that you should understand me, Hehe. Sometimes:

1. I can talk very fast
2. I may mumble
3. I might do both at once
4. I'll probably speak in broken sentences at times
5. I often say words in the wrong order
6. I might take ages to speak because I'm trying to make sure I make sense
7. I talk in circle and never reach my point
8. I think I'm talking without actually doing so
9. I cannot help it when any of this happens
10. This is me!

I have a lots of flaws or imperfections including my family but I still hope you accept me and my family as whoever we are. I hope together we build a marriage bless by Allah till Jannah. Thank you for writing me a 'love letter' today, seriously I'm not joking as I said, "saya menangis kejap", which I only have guts to express my feelings today, to be posted as I'm truly becoming your wife. I have a lots of dreams which are travelling around the world, writing a journal and open a bakery. But deep in my heart, I'm thinking of pursuing my study in Peadiatrics. And you allow me to do so right? Thank you for always say 'Yes' to me. Thank you for accepting me also as whoever I am. Please guide and advice me if I do wrongs as I'm your wife, trying hard to be better each day. May Allah bless our marriage till Jannah. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

Lots of love,
Your wife.
22nd June 2017
27th Ramadhan 1438H

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Hardship and Sincerity

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli haal
Through hardship and sincerity
During our world of filthy
We end up close very firmly

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli ni'mah
Through hardship and sincerity
Friendly faces become the priority
Togetherness we sparkle brightly

Alhamdulillah, Allahu Rabbi
Through hardship and sincerity
We struggle in His Mercy
And you showed me the legacy
So we tried our best in this circle of happy

kalamwarkah / 16.20 p.m/ 17 rabiul akhir 1436H / Terengganu, Malaysia

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Kau dan dia

Dan kerana mengikat ikatan itu harus
Tapi bukan dek oleh kasih dan sayang
Terjalin akibat dari suatu peristiwa
Hanya kau bukanlah pemanis bahagia
Dalam citarasa sebuah keluarga

Senggang waktu bermula
Bila kau dan dia bersua
Ditegur tak ingin, apatah lagi disapa
Jauh lagi mengenal hati budi sesama
Kau dan dia mungkin ada beza
Kau dan dia mungkin bersengketa
Ditambah pula ragam manusia
Tapi kau harus tau
Allah jadikan kita bersaudara
Amarah itu biarlah dari api jadi bara
Yang jadi arang pada akhirnya
Sungguh Nabi itu lebih mulia
Ambillah iktibar darinya

Mungkin kerana terlalu lama kau berdiam dalam luka
Kini kau lebih inginkan kehormatan daripada segalanya
Benar seribu kebaikan tak mampu menutup satu kesalahan
Umpama debu yang menjadi alahan
Selamat bila dijauhi, bahaya bila didekati
Mungkin kau dan dia perlu berpisah seketika

Mungkin kau dan dia perlu masa
Bekalkan secukupnya buat sang jiwa
Santapan Islami buat qalbumu
kata-kata bijaksana buat fikirmu
Agar dapat menghapus sengketa lama

Ya aku bukanlah si baik yang pandai menasihati
Aku hanya ingin melihat kau dan dia baik kembali
Marah hanya membuatmu merugi
Kerana pada akhirnya kita bakal mati
Untuk siapa kita lakukan semua ini
Lakukanlah ikhlas kerana Ilahi
Dan ingatlah wasiat Sang Nabi
" jadilah hamba-hamba Allah yang bersaudara "
Agar kelak kau dan dia akan bahagia.

kalamwarkah / 1 Rabiul Akhir 1436 H / 20:51 /sambil membelek-belek 'Dalam Dekapan Ukhuwah - Salim A. Fillah'

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Couple Weeks Ago


Couple weeks ago, I intended to make a to-do-list when I got back home. I remembered on how I really want to update my blog so much as I feel like I had lost my sense of writing. Not good in making quotes and inspirational ideas anymore. Am I sad? Yeah!  But I did some reflections. The environment has become a great influenced in my upside down life. Ough, please be more thankful Azurin! When we look around, we'll see how many wonders of life that Allah had shown to us. Try to put ourselves in their problems, well then, you might see how big are the problems. But above from all of that, Allah is greater among them. So keep coming and running towards Allah, because He'll never leave us. Instead, we did. Astaghfirullahalazim. May Allah always put us in His path. In my writings, all I did was to me myself, so then I can do a reflection or many reflections whenever I lost, a U-turn I should called.

For those who are reading my blog, is just a story to be shared. Long time ago, I couldn't believe how I can be involved in writings but still, Alhamdulillah, I did. And thanks to them, I learned a lot. Then Allah make me sat in a group we called usrah and together we named it as baitul sakinah, It's a pray. Aaminn. During our preclinical years we are the eager ones, the hardworking ones and the cheerful ones when it comes about teamwork. Allah has brighten our days in Makassar. It has been the most place I miss so much. From usrah I learned some arabic words and until today, my to-do-list is to learn arabic. Insya Allah. Then, those brighten days have become gloom and raining, sometimes stormy when we encountered with the life as a co-assistant (clinical years), hectic schedules makes me feel lazy to attend an usrah, "Forgive me ya Allah, for I am forgetful." But then, I will be reminded by those words, "Awak pergi usrah tak hari ini?," "Awin jom pergi usrah," which have taught me well the benefit of sisterhood. Alhamdulillah. One would not be able to survive until someone gets together. Jazakallahu khayran kathira ya akhowat.

One of them is going to leave us but she'll then build a house in Jannah. Insya Allah. Mabruk alayk ya ukhti. Our prayers is always with you. May Allah strengthen our ukhuwwah even in the future we might not be able to sat in the same circle we used to. Deep of my heart, I know Allah has a plan for us. Insya Allah we will sailing in same ship. The sweetness of faith and the sweetness of sisterhood in Islam. Allahumma aaminn. 

p/s:Ignore my bad grammar. I make a mini book, regarding to write my a-to-do list. And yes, I have changed the name of the book to be a-must-do-list. Insya Allah.

kalamwarkah/20.28pm/in my room/Terengganu